The Cutter!Now, contrary to what you may be thinking, this is a great movie. Sure, Chuck is one hundred years old in it, but he still manages to kick all the ass that he did during the Reagan administration. It was actually bizarre to see Chuck in a movie that wasn't surrounded by 80s cheese, but the producers didn't forget that this was a Chuck Norris movie completely. It comes equipped with all of the little things that are just a tad off the mark that make you stop and think: what the hell?
And then you remember. It's Chuck Norris.
Let's break it down. First and foremost is this:
I'd like to just leave that clip to speak for itself, but that wouldn't be doing things justice. Notice a little something off about that scream? Of course do you. Not only is it not fitting to the fall, it seems somehow familiar. When we watched this, we all felt like we had heard that scream before, but surely none of us knew it from this movie-- after all, it only came out three years ago.
Well, after a long internet search, the answer became clear. Somewhat like the Wilhelm Scream, this scream is a stock sound effect that is used in many different films, shows, etc. Remember Ahh! Real Monsters? That "Ahh!" at the start was this scream. That Starcraft unit who lets out that roar? This scream. As far as I can tell, it's simply know as the "Youraagh!" Why the producers of the Cutter put it into what was supposed to be a serious death scene (Chuck blatantly takes this man's life) I will never know. You just have to chalk it up to the Chuck effect.
Okay, enough about the scream. If you are anything like me, just looping that clip over and over should provide amusement enough, and really I should just end this Report here as I've done my job and entertained you.
But no! We're just getting started. Or not. Maybe, probably just until I get tired of this.
Perhaps you are wondering why this edition of the Chuck Norris Report is called what it is. I don't think I've mentioned this before, but part of the fun of the Chuck Norris movies is the one-liners that Chuck rattles off. 80s one-liners are notoriously bad as a rule, but Chuck takes things to a new level. In fact, in all of his movies, the one-liners are of such a similar poor grade that I've become convinced that he must make them up on the spot. I can think of a few off the top of my head, but I just got thinking that there really should be a compendium somewhere on this internet that houses these lines. I guess I know what my next project is.
Anyway, shit lines like "Sleep tight, sucker," and "Welcome to my world," are the norm in Chuck movies. Occasionally there is a perfect opportunity for a great one-liner and it will go wasted and unused. I don't understand the filtering process for how they determine what's good enough to use, but something in the machine is broken. In the case of the Cutter, the stand-out line comes when Chuck is discussing how serious he is. Indeed, he is "as serious as a heart attack."
Finally, I'd be remiss if I didn't talk about the liberal use of flashbacks in the movie. There would be flashbacks to scenes that just happened literally a scene ago. And I'm not talking split second flashbacks for effect, I mean full-on flashbacks that lasted as long as the original scene being flashed back to. I don't know, maybe there was some miscommunication in the editing phase of the movie, or maybe the producers just take Chuck Norris fans as people who can't follow a barebones plot? Hell, maybe they just needed to fill the hour and a half with footage so they thought: "Let's just show everything twice!"
But don't take these comments as negative comments. The Cutter delivers. Lots of good Chuck action (both martial arts and gunfights) and Chuck charm throughout. A car chase scene in which Chuck is driving the van from the starting to Who's the Boss? rounds out the film nicely. All in all, easily recommended for any Chuck fan.
Well that'll do for this edition. Keep checking for updates as we work our way towards seeing all of Chuck's films.
0 comments:
Post a Comment